When you state your expectations clearly, they’re more likely to be met. Obvious, right? The phrase, “I expect” does a ton of heavy lifting when you’re communicating with your team about their roles and responsibilities or when you’re giving meaningful feedback during one-on-one sessions (or, for that matter, when you’re talking to your kids about helping out around the house!).
We think the two simple words, “I expect,” are SO powerful and effective that we include them in our list of top 10 phrases every manager should use. Additionally, during sessions with our leadership development cohorts, we encourage participants to practice saying “I expect …” so they can communicate well with the team.
“I expect” sparks the unexpected
To our surprise, we’ve noticed people in our cohorts struggling to say this short phrase — even after a role-playing activity based on the importance of expectation-setting. We asked, what gives?
Participants told us, “Saying ‘I expect’ sounds too harsh … too aggressive … too formal/forceful/demanding …”
Message received. But here’s why we still have great expectations for “I expect” — and why it can be a communication game-changer.
Give the gift of clear communication
It doesn’t take rocket science to see why “I expect” can kick off a conversation or statement that’s clear and to the point. The words also remove any blurriness between the intention and the impact of what you’re saying. Given that the vast majority of employees think their organization is failing when it comes to communicating effectively, leaders better amp up their skills in this area—STAT.
Because, as author and financial advisor Dave Ramsey puts it, “Poor communication … is good for one thing: Killing your team’s unity and momentum.” Good communication, on the other hand, keeps employees engaged, motivated, and on track to help your business succeed.
Take “I expect” for a spin
One of our leadership development cohort members decided to give “I expect” a try. Although he admitted it made him a bit nervous and uncomfortable, he intentionally made “I expect” statements during a feedback session with one of his employees. At first, he wondered if he sounded too harsh. His worries disappeared when he heard, through the workplace grapevine, the employee truly appreciated their clear, direct and action-oriented conversation.
On a personal note, I got an unexpected reminder about the negative impacts of poor communication. My nephew, a dedicated hockey player, asked his coaches mid-way through the season what he could do to improve. They told him, “Keep doing what you’re doing. Just play your game.”
Talk about unclear feedback. What do you do with such vague responses? What do you do more of? What do you change? The coaches missed the opportunity to help an eager young athlete grow and improve.
In life, clear is kind. In business, it’s key to success
Author and researcher Brene Brown talks about how being clear is “kind,” while being unclear is “unkind.” Certainly, my nephew would have benefitted from the kindness of meaningful advice from his coaches. In business, clear communication about your expectations — from big-picture goals and objectives to individual contributions from sales associates or drivers — helps everyone feel job satisfaction, loyalty and pride.
Saying “I expect” may be an act of kindness. And it’s definitely a sign of great leadership.
People Spark Consulting helps businesses develop strong leaders who know how to drive productivity and retention by recognizing employees and giving clear, meaningful feedback. Email Erin Miies to learn about our customized services and programs.
